The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

230244957_4897376906956145_3778987864434000039_n.jpg
 
54667b61772f319cde732f97e87d1c69844c1019.jpeg
 
genie.jpg
 
E8u_XubWEAIxzYH.jpg
 
CADC7772-AF31-42DD-9B71-D8F6E3EB46BD.jpeg
 
A photographer was crushed to death by a huge block of cheddar.

Everybody tried to warn him.
 
8D79500D-1E98-43EC-ADE0-27130A813996.jpeg
 
I phoned my takeaway and asked if they deliver, the said no we do chicken fish and ham...
 
F U N E X ;)
 
F U N E M?
 
O K, I F M N X ;)

Brilliant sketch.
 
FB_IMG_1629388784686.jpg
 
IMG_5487.JPG
 
239806788_4119185934843586_3942032897037475218_n.jpg
 
Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.
Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents house for two weeks."
The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes, he bought me a Fiat 500."
"Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make, canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"
 
Gremlin said:
Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
The first one says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second one says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.
Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
After this, the first one looks shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents house for two weeks."
The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a Mercedes, he bought me a Fiat 500."
"Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make, canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"
Click to expand...
Three young women are at a cocktale party. The conversation turns to their position in life and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
…
Number three says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen cockatiels can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
…
"Well," the third one says, "I also have a confession to make, cockatiel number thirteen has to stand on one leg!"

FTFY
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top