The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

IMG-20210812-WA0002.jpgandrew.jpg
 
*Mercedes for Sale @ £1*

Someone put up this advertisement...

No one believed it could be true so no one responded, but an old man responded and went to see the car.

The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 Kms, for $1.

She handed him the papers and the car keys. Deal done.

As the old man was leaving, he said, "I shall die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"

The Lady replied, "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where it's written that the money received
from the sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary ..."

*Wives are Wives, in life, after death too....*
 
1628879313197.jpeg

before anyone says anything it is from America
 
Last edited:
munch said:
*Mercedes for Sale @ £1*

Someone put up this advertisement...

No one believed it could be true so no one responded, but an old man responded and went to see the car.

The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 Kms, for $1.

She handed him the papers and the car keys. Deal done.

As the old man was leaving, he said, "I shall die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"

The Lady replied, "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where it's written that the money received
from the sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary ..."

*Wives are Wives, in life, after death too....*
Click to expand...
Reminds me of my first wife ,wanted half the value of our car when I sold it , done the deal outside the house so she could see it was all honest ,handed the new owner the keys ,and loved the look on her face when I handed her the £2.50
 
A woman had 20 children. 10 girls 10 boys, all of their names were leroy. Boys spelt Leroy girls spelt Leroigh. She met a man one day and told him how many children she had and what their names were. " why did you name all of your children Leroy/Leroigh?" The man asked. "It's easy to call them all together. For example Leroy/Leroigh time for bed, time for supper." The woman laughed. The man asked "how do you call them if you only need one of the children?" The woman cackled "by their last names of course!"
 
waterloo.jpg
 
What do you call a marathon if all the runners are transvestites? A drag race.
 
227942800_1245346035983461_1742979290696839263_n.jpg
 
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you jerk. Someone has stolen our tent."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top