The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Not from a photography site, but it just fits :D

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Paddy goes into his local Argos and asks to buy a potato clock.

"Well, we sell wall clocks, carriage clocks, cuckoo clocks, but I've never heard of a potato clock"

"I start a new job tomorrow at nine, and the wife said I ought to get a potato clock"
 
Genuine..

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They do a 925 tee as well - something for me to rest my balls on when I'm driving...
 
Mick goes round to see Paddy and eventually finds him in the barn with his shirt open to the waist, gyrating in the style of Elvis in frount of his Massey Ferguson.

"Bejaysus, Pat, what are ye doin'?

"Well, me and the missus haven't been getting on well in the bedroom of late, so someone suggested I should do something sexy to a tractor!"
 
Decent first day at my new job Yesterday, installing new software for O2, boss hasn't rung so I assume everything is going well.
 
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found
Traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
Their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American
Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their
Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".

One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f*** all.
Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
 
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