The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

This has being released on the internet its a brief synopsis from the latest Mills and Boon Novel called The Welsh Lovers

"We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon.

The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent

that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know,

and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.

We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her, and have her now.

Without a word being spoken, I moved to a position of dominance. I

could feel instantly that this was what she was waiting for as she

frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly

at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her. Then as the

tension rose, we threw caution to the wind and abandoned ourselves to

the moment. Although inexperienced, she approached every change of

position with enthusiasm, moaning with despair every time I

withdrew to prevent myself ending it all too soon. As the sexual tension

heightened towards the inevitable mind blowing climax, it was all I could do to

hold out any longer. Finally, the moment we had been building

up to was upon us, and passed all too quickly.

Breathlessly we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the

last deep orange glow of the long setting sun melted into the darkness of

approaching night, we lay there still entwined in an amorous

embrace. I kissed her long and lovingly, and whispered reassuringly how good she

had been.

She tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear then whispered,

'Baaa' and rejoined the flock.
 
Steep said:
Apparently, when you donate blood, it has to be your own.
Click to expand...
I've donated 86 pints. All my own.

Good job too, because I'd be incredibly bloated if I hadn't.
 
mikew said:
This has being released on the internet its a brief synopsis from the latest Mills and Boon Novel called The Welsh Lovers

"We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon.

The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent

that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know,

and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.

We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her, and have her now.

Without a word being spoken, I moved to a position of dominance. I

could feel instantly that this was what she was waiting for as she

frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly

at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her. Then as the

tension rose, we threw caution to the wind and abandoned ourselves to

the moment. Although inexperienced, she approached every change of

position with enthusiasm, moaning with despair every time I

withdrew to prevent myself ending it all too soon. As the sexual tension

heightened towards the inevitable mind blowing climax, it was all I could do to

hold out any longer. Finally, the moment we had been building

up to was upon us, and passed all too quickly.

Breathlessly we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the

last deep orange glow of the long setting sun melted into the darkness of

approaching night, we lay there still entwined in an amorous

embrace. I kissed her long and lovingly, and whispered reassuringly how good she

had been.

She tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear then whispered,

'Baaa' and rejoined the flock.
Click to expand...

Relive those magical momentsinflatable sheep.jpg
 
mikew said:
This has being released on the internet its a brief synopsis from the latest Mills and Boon Novel called The Welsh Lovers

"We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon.

The warm breeze was full of that earthy, musky scent

that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know,

and a quiet whispering of leaves in the weeping willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene.

We lay there, both naked. I knew I had to have her, and have her now.

Without a word being spoken, I moved to a position of dominance. I

could feel instantly that this was what she was waiting for as she

frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I moved slowly

at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her. Then as the

tension rose, we threw caution to the wind and abandoned ourselves to

the moment. Although inexperienced, she approached every change of

position with enthusiasm, moaning with despair every time I

withdrew to prevent myself ending it all too soon. As the sexual tension

heightened towards the inevitable mind blowing climax, it was all I could do to

hold out any longer. Finally, the moment we had been building

up to was upon us, and passed all too quickly.

Breathlessly we rolled together in the now damp grass. As the

last deep orange glow of the long setting sun melted into the darkness of

approaching night, we lay there still entwined in an amorous

embrace. I kissed her long and lovingly, and whispered reassuringly how good she

had been.

She tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear then whispered,

'Baaa' and rejoined the flock.
Click to expand...
Diversity training for you......................
 
47082573_543621519446329_7984295850522181632_n.jpg
 
andyred said:
They’ve had some great Christmas ads this year - think the first one I saw was a Micky take on Coke’s holidays are coming usual ad :)
Click to expand...
I did hear that the coke truck offered to pull Kevin's truck from the cliff edge ..
That's be a good one up for coke if they made that ad :D
 
Cobra said:
I did hear that the coke truck offered to pull Kevin's truck from the cliff edge ..
That's be a good one up for coke if they made that ad :D
Click to expand...


Is the coke truck what keeps the South American migrant caravan marching?
 
Paddy's medical dictionary

Artery: The study of paintings.

Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.

Barium: What you do when patients die.

Benign: What you be, after you be eight.

Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome.

Catscan: Searching for Kitty.

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.

Colic: A sheep dog.

Coma: A punctuation mark.

Dilate: To live long.

Enema: Not a friend.

Fester: Quicker than someone else.

Fibula: A small lie.

Impotent: Distinguished, well known.

Labour Pain: Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff: A Doctor's cane.

Morbid: A higher offer.

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.

Node: I knew it.

Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative: A letter carrier.

Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.

Rectum: Nearly killed him.

Secretion: Hiding something.

Seizure: Roman emperor.

Tablet: A small table.

Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.

Tumour: One plus one more.

Urine: Opposite of you're out.
 
Tringa said:
Sums up a few threads on here -

https://www.facebook.com/DanVoils/posts/10156811530759731

Dave
Click to expand...

They can knock internet forums and social media all they like, but deciding to buy a new piece of photographic equipment wouldn't be the same if there wasn't a heated, 5-page debate about whether or not it's actually any good, your level of ability merits it, and it's morally acceptable to buy it from the supplier somebody has suggested but you weren't actually going to buy it from anyway. :LOL:
 
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