The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

I was lying on the couch talking to my therapist when he asked me “if you were stuck on a dessert island, who would you like to be stuck with”
I said 'my uncle Dave.'

'And why’s that?” He replied, is it because he would be a calming influence on you?'

'No' I said “He’s got a boat”
 
Cordy said:
I was lying on the couch talking to my therapist when he asked me “if you were stuck on a dessert island, who would you like to be stuck with”
I said 'my uncle Dave.'

'And why’s that?” He replied, is it because he would be a calming influence on you?'

'No' I said “He’s got a boat”
Click to expand...


I'd go for whoever makes the best deSSerts...
 
Not a joke but I liked it.

It was from a thread I saw about Elon Musk's reported trillon dollar payment.

“At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, Kurt Vonnegut informed his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its whole history. Heller responded, “Yes, but I have something he will never have … enough.”

Dave
 
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(If the medals are wrong, it's NOT MY FAULT!)
 
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