The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Sometimes, when you roll the "sickie" dice, the steaks are too high...
 
My current main systems are Sony & Pentax, they look like quite different personalities
 
Funny how the 2 brands with the (allegedly!) great IBIS are the 2 on supports...
 
For the first time in its history, the Moulin Rouge in Paris’s Montmatre will be hosting a Burns Supper later this month.

Early booking is being advised for an evening of haggis, nips and titties.
 
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I just saw on the news that they're suggesting that because of the cold weather, people should check on the elderly.
I'm usually up by 6 or 6:30.
Bring doughnuts.
 
My current main systems are Sony & Pentax, they look like quite different personalities

Grumpy old man sums me up (but with hair)...
I don't fit the Nikon stereotype though
The thighs on that Canon girl - modelled on Xenia Onatop?
 
reminds me of the last time we were called into the office for a full-team meeting...

team leader was out front pontificating about something or other (who listens) but I did hear him say "we're a family here"

Straight away my hand shot up with a question...

(TL, sighs, then replys) "yes mark ??"

"Can I be put up for Adoption please?"


rest of the speechifying was noticeably more short and to the point.
 
reminds me of the last time we were called into the office for a full-team meeting...

team leader was out front pontificating about something or other (who listens) but I did hear him say "we're a family here"

Straight away my hand shot up with a question...

(TL, sighs, then replys) "yes mark ??"

"Can I be put up for Adoption please?"


rest of the speechifying was noticeably more short and to the point.
We met with a new boss and he said that we should introduce ourselves. First person said his name, the second person said her name and the third one said "I'm Spartacus!" That resulted in almost everyone in the room repeating it.
Luckily the new boss had a sense of humour and doubled up laughing.
 
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Some years ago a man in a Merchant Navy captain's uniform pulls into a village petrol station in deepest Cornwall and asks the proprietor to fill his Aston Martin DB4.

The pumps were the old hand-pumped version and it was a warm day. The old guy dispensing the fuel was sweating profusely. Breathlessly he said: "That's a very nice car you got there, sir. Don't see many of they round these parts. Bet she were a bob or two."

"Well," said the customer, "It's my one weakness. I have a good job. I am a Merchant Navy Captain and I work for Cunard."

The fellah responds - "Well I work 'kin hard too -- but I ain't got a car like that!"
 
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Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, 'How do you get to the other side?'
The other blonde replies, 'You are on the other side!'
 
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