The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Can't be a real picture - her knees are together...
 
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Mike.P said:
An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.
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Post #1 and numerous others ...
 
It crops up every now and again and again and again and again!

At a rough guess, about 50% of the jokes and memes posted here are repeats (I know I'm sometimes guilty, especially if I get distracted between posting and deleting the picture!)
 
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Nod said:
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There is the true story of a businessman who travelled abroad on business with his mistress, his wife knew nothing of this.
One day, he suggested going on holiday with his wife, she had the choice of where to go.
At the travel agent, she came across a leaflet for romantic breaks in Belgium, with a picture of a happy couple canoodling
Her husband and the mistress.
 
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There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why ???

OH, come on... take a guess !!!

Think about it !!!


Everyone knows...

You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone !!!
 
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Nod said:
As I said when I posted it a few days ago, staff should be getting extra tips...
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That was last month, besides mines prettier (y)
 
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