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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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What did the pirate say on his eightieth birthday? "Aye Matey!"
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It was so good you had to post it twice
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
I saw Columbo or some other US detective do that in a film with a couple of forks.
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ancient_mariner
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It was so good you had to post it twice
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
I saw Columbo or some other US detective do that in a film with a couple of forks.
Yup. Just didn't check back far enough.
ancient_mariner
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OK, to make up.....
Q: What do you call a celestial being that creates complex knots?
A: A Gordian angel.
Q: What do you call a celestial being that creates complex knots?
A: A Gordian angel.
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Two couples were playing poker one evening.
Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.
When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Lee's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear.
Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Lee's wife, Sue, followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?'
Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, he did.
Sue said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $250.'
Jim confirmed that he is very interested.
Sue told him that since her husband Lee played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Lee's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum, they went to the bedroom, and Sue gave him a flipping great time. Jim quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Lee came home from golf at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'
With a lump in her throat Sue answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'Did he give you $250?
Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did.'
Lee, with a satisfied look on his face, continued, 'Good.
He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $250 from me.
He promised he'd stop by this afternoon and pay it back.'
Now THAT, my friends, is how poker should be played.
Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.
When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Lee's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear.
Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Lee's wife, Sue, followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?'
Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, he did.
Sue said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $250.'
Jim confirmed that he is very interested.
Sue told him that since her husband Lee played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Lee's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum, they went to the bedroom, and Sue gave him a flipping great time. Jim quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Lee came home from golf at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'
With a lump in her throat Sue answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'Did he give you $250?
Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did.'
Lee, with a satisfied look on his face, continued, 'Good.
He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $250 from me.
He promised he'd stop by this afternoon and pay it back.'
Now THAT, my friends, is how poker should be played.
G.K.Jnr.
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A guy drops a sword from the sky. When he gets off he sees a girl crying. He says "What's wrong?" The girl says, "Well, a sword fell from the sky and killed my cat. Another guy drops a gun from the sky and sees a boy crying. He asks "What's wrong?" He says "A gun fell from the sky and shot my dog." Another guy drops a bomb from the sky and sees a little boy laughing. He asks, "What's so funny?" He says "My mom farted so hard the house blew up!!"