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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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I actually checked it to the first couple of dozen, then thought " what on earth are you doing?"
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the black fox
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Indeed it seems it's actually a bitch not a dog....Not quite, but I know what you meanThink the sniffed dog's name is Fanny
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A violinist went to sleep. His dream was like this: An angel appeared from the skies and told him:"I have two pieces of news to tell you. One is good news and the other one is bad news . With which one should I start?" And the violinist replied: "With the good one". The angel continues: "After you die you will go to heaven. And in heaven you will be sitting besides Paganini, in the heaven´s Orchestra.". The violinist, stunned with this amazing news, asked about the bad news, and the angel replied: "The bad news is that your first rehearsal starts tomorrow".
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A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to
another
lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had ....
Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realizing his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything... He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.. He wanders up to
another
lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had ....
Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees
