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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business .
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia.
Ruled by a pair of nuts!
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business .
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia.
Ruled by a pair of nuts!
ancient_mariner
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A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin.
Truth be told, he is virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
'My darring ,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten .
I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask.
Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request .
She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'
More thoughtful silence from him.
Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her ...
'You want ... Garlic Chicken wif flide lice..???
Truth be told, he is virgin too, but she doesn't know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
'My darring ,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten .
I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask.
Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request .
She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'
More thoughtful silence from him.
Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her ...
'You want ... Garlic Chicken wif flide lice..???
ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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ancient_mariner
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Elon Musk Changes His Own Name to WTF
One week after changing Twitter’s name to X, Elon Musk has changed his own name to WTF.Explaining the decision to reporters, he said, “Elon Musk is an O.K. name, but WTF fits me better.”
“I know that people everywhere have extremely warm and positive associations with the name Elon Musk,” he added. “But, as we say at SpaceX, sometimes you have to blow things up.”
The tech magnate revealed that his new name had been chosen “in a fun contest” by employees at X headquarters. “People may have been p***ed when I wouldn’t let them work from home, but one perk of coming in to the office is you get to do cool stuff like this,” he noted.
He said that the name WTF won the contest after beating back a strong challenge from the employees’ second-favorite name for him, LMFAO.
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ancient_mariner
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