The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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And if you didn't notice the same meme 4 posts above, you're even older!!! :P
 
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For a million UK pounds, I'd sleep with him!!! SLEEP being the operative word!
 
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hree sisters were all getting married within a short time period.
Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but: "Nescafe".
Puzzled at first Mum went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Great from beginning to end".
Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from the Maldives a week after the wedding and the card read: "Rothmans".
Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes to read from the pack: "Super strong King Size".
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.. the third girl departed for her honeymoon in New Zealand.
Mum waited for a week,
Nothing.
Another week went by and still nothing.
A month passed; still nothing.
A card finally arrived from Auckland on which was written with shaky hand, "Air New Zealand ".
Mum took out her latest travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst and finally found the ad for Air NZ.
'Ten times a day, seven days a week, in all directions.'
MUM FAINTED!!!
 
Air NZ HQ?


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This might be a repost. If it is, just think of that as #9.!!!
 
A recent visit to Brighton, on arrival l asked a lady for directions to my hotel, and she said it's only a stone's throw away.

I said will l recognize it?

She said -- it's the one with all the broken windows.

 
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Toyota Tacoma (1997 MY) water pump gasket.

Google image search it!
 
Toyota Tacoma (1997 MY) water pump gasket.

Google image search it!
Is that a comment on Toyota owners?
:p
 
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