The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[Nod]

My wife thinks I'm crazy but I'm not the one who married me!

 

[mj4456]

My wife thinks I'm crazy but I'm not the one who married me!

When my wife criticises my taste or opinion I remind her I picked her.

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cockney]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Steep]

A Scotsman visits a bar in Canada where he notices the framed head of a large animal on the wall, he asks the bartender what it is.
"A moose" says the bartender.
"Fxxx me, how big are the cats here?!"

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cobra]

View attachment 343711

So Jackalopes are real after all

 

[D-Mitch]

Police in Yorkshire are becoming concerned about a new drug craze in the area, which involves addicts injecting liquid ecstasy into their mouths in order to get a faster hit from the drug. This trend is known as “E by gum.”

 

[Nod]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Steep]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Nod]

 

[Mag1cp2x]

A salesman at the local BMW showroom has suddenly left the company without giving any indication that he was going …

 

[Nod]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

I got a compliment on my driving today said the young lady to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.

 

[Nod]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[Nod]

 

[Nod]

Just for @Cobra...

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[D-Mitch]