The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[D-Mitch]

 

[Nod]

Unlikely - the next major royal event is likely to involve "god save the king".

 

[Nod]

This story seems to confirm what we've suspected for years!

BMW drivers are most likely to be psychopaths, survey says

BMW drivers are the car drivers most likely to be psychopaths, according to a survey.According to comparison website Scrap Car Comparison - which asked 2,000 drivers to complete a 12-question survey that measures the extent to which people have psychopathic traits - BMW drivers scored highest...

www.indy100.com

 

[Nod]

I'm so soft hearted that I've bought all the pigs in the field over the road a commercialmas present. They're all getting blankets.

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

Had my first Vegan meal today,it tasted great after i added the bacon egg and cheese

 

[Nod]

 

[Mountkeen]

My wife tells me that sex is usually better when away on holiday.

Worst postcard I've ever received...........

 

[Marc]

View attachment 336846

I just think of

 

[Nod]

Just playing them the bagpipes would have been enough!

 

[saltireblue]

Just playing them the bagpipes would have been enough!

 

[Nod]

 

[Bobsyeruncle]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.


'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'


The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.


'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.


The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'


Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.


The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties..


St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The Irishman replied, 'These are Carols.'

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Cobra]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Norkie]

<Mod Edit> this isn't the Daily Wail </>

 

[Nod]

 

[Merlin5]

 

[Steep]

 

[kendo1]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]

 

[Nod]

 

[Nod]

Ever wondered what happens if you don't use bin liners? Wonder no more!!!

 

[Mountkeen]

 

[Mountkeen]

This year I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts.

 

[Nod]

 

[Mountkeen]

I got my car waxed today.

I don't know how it gets so hairy.

 

[Cobra]

Now the chat has gone we can get back to the jokes & meme's
I'm bracing myself ....

 

[Gremlin]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Nod]

Quite right too. Why people still celebrate the alleged birthday of someone who is responsible for so much death and suffering beats me.

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]