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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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Bobsyeruncle
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A man’s wife goes missing while diving off West Wight. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.The Sarge says, 'Mornin’ Sir, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.
'Well,' says the husband, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry Sir, but your wife is dead.Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little chine by the Needles. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'
The poor bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has to sit down, but after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized lobsters and a couple of pot’s worth of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share. 'He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and half a dozen good sized crabs in it. Stunned, he says “thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that...So what's the other possible good news?
‘Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.
Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.The Sarge says, 'Mornin’ Sir, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.
'Well,' says the husband, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry Sir, but your wife is dead.Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little chine by the Needles. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'
The poor bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has to sit down, but after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized lobsters and a couple of pot’s worth of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share. 'He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and half a dozen good sized crabs in it. Stunned, he says “thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that...So what's the other possible good news?
‘Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.
OP
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