The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Every year the kids kept finding their Christmas presents so my wife told me to put them in the loft, which I did.

It’s now 3am & their incessant crying & whinging is keeping me awake........" There's spiders, I don't like spiders, Daaad Sarah's turning blue, - it's dark I don't like it"

Really getting on my nerves now, any suggestions??
 
That reminds me where I left the puppy I got for Mrs Nod a few years ago...
 
admirable said:
Every year the kids kept finding their Christmas presents so my wife told me to put them in the loft, which I did.

It’s now 3am & their incessant crying & whinging is keeping me awake........" There's spiders, I don't like spiders, Daaad Sarah's turning blue, - it's dark I don't like it"

Really getting on my nerves now, any suggestions??
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Ear plugs ?
 
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Who'd have thought that it was so popular that it even made the Bayeux tapestry Eh?

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Must be GI Joe - Action Man wouldn't do anything like that!
 
A man walks into the toy store to get a Barbie doll for his daughter. So he asks the assistant, as you would, "How much is Barbie?"

"Well," she says, "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."

"Hey, hang on," the guy asks, "why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?"

"Yeah, well, it's like this ... Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture ..."
 
Cobra said:
No, he's too busy "hitting on" Barbie ;)
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Since the (relatively) recent Mone ySoupermarket ad, I've thought he batted for the other side...
 
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