The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

According to my mate in the states he is far less dangerous than "that woman"
Make of that what you will :D

A friend of mine in America says the only thing worse than Trump winning is Trump not winning.
 
WRT point 2 in post #1634, the -ise/-ize suffix depends on the derivation rather than being an Americanisation. Never sure which is which but from Latin it's one and from Greek the other. Possibly -ize from Greek since the Romans only used the Z in words of Greek origin.
 
I do. But I'm not saying.

Hint: It helps if you can recognise the species of bird.
 
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Police have detained two youths. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They've charged one and let the other one off.
Did I ever tell you about when I was at school in the 1950's :eek:
 
14702335_774725786003756_4389085307558219513_n.jpg
 
And what the collective noun is for that species.


Looks more like a parliament or unkindness than attempted murder but they don't work as well!
 
Looks more like a parliament or unkindness than attempted murder but they don't work as well!

Face is wrong colour for rooks but judging by their build they're ravens not crows.
 
How many pedants does it take to change a light bulb?

Change it into what?
 
Does anyone else remember the exact same discussion when this was posted last time? :p




Don't get that?

I do. But I'm not saying.

Hint: It helps if you can recognise the species of bird.

And what the collective noun is for that species.

Looks more like a conspiracy, constable :D

Looks more like a parliament or unkindness than attempted murder but they don't work as well!

Face is wrong colour for rooks but judging by their build they're ravens not crows.
 
So which is it? :P

TBH, I'm happy for all corvids to be lumped under the crow banner, especially for the purposes of this meme.
 
So which is it? :p

TBH, I'm happy for all corvids to be lumped under the crow banner, especially for the purposes of this meme.
I'd say Raven, especially as they are ringed.
 
Only ever saw one of those Dysons in a Tesco store and it was utterly manky. Very bad design.
 
There is a new Dyson hand dryer out. Much smaller but just as loud.

Expecting a punch line? Well, er... "it blew me away!"
We can't have non funny chat in the funnies thread now can we?

Not that my emergency punch line was funny though.
 
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Only ever saw one of those Dysons in a Tesco store and it was utterly manky. Very bad design.
Now here's a happy thought :D
(sorry about the source)

Researchers found 27 times more germs in the air around jet-air dryers in comparison with the air around paper towel dispensers.

They found also found five times more bacteria around jet-air dryers than warm air dryers.

Previous research has shown that usually after going to the toilet a person has around 200 million bacteria per square inch on each hand.

And hands contaminated with viruses can transfer them to five more surfaces or 14 other subjects.



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...-paper-towels-study-claims.html#ixzz4NdxUGN1S
 
It is said,... many know this already,... it's not a joke actually,... that a bowl of salted peanuts, on a bar, at any one time, will contain 17 flavours of urine. It's a scientific fact! 17! It's true. Peanut anyone?
 
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