The old ones are still best (sometimes)...
A general is visiting sick troops in a military hospital. He stops at a bed.
"Number, rank, name, sickness and treatment"
"948533 Private Jones, Sir! Piles, Sir! Ointment applied with a brush, Sir!"
"Your ambition, private?"
"To get back to my unit asap and fight for King and country, Sir"
"Very good. Carry on"
He stops at another bed and repeats the question.
"348574 Corporal Peters, Sir! Syphilis, Sir! Ointment applied with a brush, Sir!"
"Your ambition, corporal?"
"To get back to my unit asap and fight for King and country, Sir"
"Very good. Carry on"
He stops at a third bed.
"Number, rank, name sickness and treatment"
"68934 Private Davies, Sir! Sores in the mouth, Sir! Ointment applied with a brush, Sir!"
"And what is your ambition, private?"
"Sir, to get the brush before the other two, Sir!!"