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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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- Richard
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Ummm ... Birds?
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- Roy
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This just in: Vatican City scammed out of 1 million euros as their PaPal account hacked . . .
boyfalldown
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- Hugh
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Brendan Mulachy
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my granddad fought hard in world war 2 and i am sure that he would of been so proud of what the Tories have done to Britain recently
mind you he was in the SS
mind you he was in the SS
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Just a “special effect” but one of those glass walkways did shatter recently
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Bobsyeruncle
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welshwizard645
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- The other Chris
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This is a genuine comment in the Grauniads Notes and Queries section, made me chuckle
My wife is hypersensitive to any noise I make during the night which prevents her getting off to sleep or wakes her up. This includes the sound of me breathing, turning over in bed, the audible drumming made by the pulse behind my ear, and the loud swooshing noise my blood makes as it flows around my body. I am also personally responsible for any seagulls landing on the roof then taking off again. But in the morning, two alarm clocks blaring simultaneously by her head at full volume doesn’t so much as invade her dreams, let alone rouse her sweet head from her pillow.
My wife is hypersensitive to any noise I make during the night which prevents her getting off to sleep or wakes her up. This includes the sound of me breathing, turning over in bed, the audible drumming made by the pulse behind my ear, and the loud swooshing noise my blood makes as it flows around my body. I am also personally responsible for any seagulls landing on the roof then taking off again. But in the morning, two alarm clocks blaring simultaneously by her head at full volume doesn’t so much as invade her dreams, let alone rouse her sweet head from her pillow.
Sky
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Three Surgeons were discussing their favourite type of patient.
The first said: 'I like accountants because when you open them up everything inside is numbered'.
The second said: 'I prefer electricians because their insides are colour coded'.
But the third insisted: 'MPs are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no backbone and the head and backside are interchangeable'.
The first said: 'I like accountants because when you open them up everything inside is numbered'.
The second said: 'I prefer electricians because their insides are colour coded'.
But the third insisted: 'MPs are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no backbone and the head and backside are interchangeable'.
cymruchris
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Who’s looking forward to a holiday ?
