would you commision me?

  • Thread starter Thread starter digitalmaniac
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Flash In The Pan said:
A quick rewrite of the opening text....

"Welcome to Image World, Slough's friendly, family run wedding and portrait specialists.

At Image World we understand how important your big day is, whether it is your wedding, school portrait or a family memento and we promise you the best quality images and the best possible price."
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That reads sooo much better and it uses the targeted keywords in a natural context.

See, Martin? It's not that difficult, takes little time, cuts down on extraneous text and reads more naturally.

Whilst we're covering website copy, I'd suggest trying to focus less on "we" and "our". Instead, focus your copy on the visitor.
 
Martin, the background colour of your latest header image (#363636) is different from that of your page background (#333333). It's also suffering from JPG artefacts. I'd suggest switching to a lossless/indexed image format such as GIF or PNG. You may also be able to use a transparent background.
 
"Welcome to Image world, a friendly portrait studio covering Slough, Windsor, Maidenhead, Langley, Burnham and surrounding areas. Who understand the importance of your needs, be it a portrait, wedding day, school portrait or special event."

The W in World should be capitalised and you can't start a sentence with the word "Who", replace it with "We". The phrase "importance of your needs" is a bit uncomfortable "we understand your needs" scans better, but I still prefer my original version :lol:
 
Another thought, your "signature" on the intro page, perhaps a handwriting font (you can download them for free, just do a Google) might add a more personal touch to it...
 
You probably wont like it at all now then LOL

Im confused though-you have said dont start a sentence with who. i thought a paragraph is supposed to be one large content about the same subject. thinking a full stop is just a larger breather than a comma.

So saying a portrait studio blah blah blah. who understand. Instead of portrait studio. We understand.

Oh well maybe your right
 
Can you guys speak in bloody English please..................:bonk:
 
Spreek het Engels eerder dan technomateriaal!

Uistekeend...............
 
So lets see :).....

The main header font does look abit out of place. That straight skinny lettering that you get in photoshop would look nicer in my option

Good choice of background colouring and the font, really stands out well for me :) Easy to read is the most important thing.

Going on to the "Portfolio" page, This is very nicely laid out i think. And i like the way you have listed all the type of photography you deal with down the side and when you click on it it brings up an example of what you can do :).

On to the "Wedding" page. I like the layout but could you move the picture over a tiny little bit so that it isn't touching the edge of the line that comes from under the first sentence? Other than that it looks really good

The "School" page is well laid out aswell. Gives you near enough all the infomation you need at the top

Portraits page looks good and gives infomation for the sizes they can pick

Overall i think it is a good' eye catching, stylish site.

Your starting rate of hiring you for a wedding isn't that bad either :thumbs:

Tony

EDIT: Corr, i am nackard now :lol: Hope you understand what i mean :)
 
digitalmaniac said:
You probably wont like it at all now then LOL

Im confused though-you have said dont start a sentence with who. i thought a paragraph is supposed to be one large content about the same subject. thinking a full stop is just a larger breather than a comma.

So saying a portrait studio blah blah blah. who understand. Instead of portrait studio. We understand.

Oh well maybe your right
Click to expand...

A sentence should make sense on it's own -

"Who understand the importance of your needs, be it a portrait, wedding day, school portrait or special event" isn't a sentence, it's a fragment of one and if I'm being perdantic the studio can't be a "who understand" it has to be a "which understands" as the studio is an inanimate object,do you see what I mean?
 
image29 said:
http://www.duncankerridge.co.uk/
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I hate, with a passion, websites which have music on by default. Why do people do that?

A lot of people surf the web from work, and the very last thing they need is music blasting out when they should be working. What is the first thing they would do? Close the website down and move on: another client lost.

His photos might be great, but I just closed it down straight away because of the music.
 
Well my comments are of a woman looking for a wedding photographer and not as another photographer. (Not getting married but that is the frame of mind I used when looking at the site) Please don't take offence at these comments but this is a womans view if i were looking to hire a photographer for my wedding :)

I like the font and the colour of the font. I don't like the header of Image World, the M looks like an N. The colouring is fine but it needs to be more simple rather than slanted.

A couple of things about the pricing and product. These are things I would look at and consider and would mean the difference between hiring yourself or another photographer.

The pricing between Topaz and Emerald is an extra £400 yet from the description the only difference would be pics of me getting ready. I would not pay an extra £400 for that. If you do get more than just this is needs to be noted.

Also the price across the range goes for £350 - £1200 yet despite which one I choose I would still get 40 pics. If I am paying £1200 and the photographer is there all day at that cost I would want more than 40 (I know you get the mini ones for parents but I would still want more for myself) so I can pay £350 and get 40 pics or I could pay £1200 and still get 40 pics.

On the schools bit this comment stands out to me ' The photographer will not smoke or act badly whilst in the prescence of children' If hiring a professional I think I would assume this anyway, don't think it needs stating. It would put me off hiring though I cannot pin point why.

The portrait prices get a bit repetative.
How about having a main sentance with the size and prices below like this:

Quality framed images complete with mount in a choice of colours. Frame options: Glossy black, Champagne gold, silver,Gold, Teak or natural wood.

7" x 5" £50
9" x 6" £70
10" x 7" £100
etc

I looked at the site when this thread was at around 2 pages and it has definately improved and is alot more viewer friendly now :)
 
That's a huge improvement on yesterday Martin!

Not entirely to my taste, but then I'm not your punter.

Good luck.

Brian
 
Thankyou for your recent comments-a lot more encouraging. Yes I need to split the wedding packages up a bit and lessen theportrait stuff.

Im not sure what is meant by background music-my speakerswere not working before-have just gotthem working and I dont have any sound in the background .
 
digitalmaniac said:
Thankyou for your recent comments-a lot more encouraging. Yes I need to split the wedding packages up a bit and lessen theportrait stuff.

Im not sure what is meant by background music-my speakerswere not working before-have just gotthem working and I dont have any sound in the background .
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He was Referring to Duncans site.

Gary.
 
ahhh:lol:

well have just noticed from google analytics-since changing the site the average time spent on the site from people visiting from portrait studios slough is noq 13 minutes and the bounc e rate has gone down from 25% to 12%-so progress at least.
 
I haven't read the whole thread, but the thing that strikes me the most is the lack of images.
A photography website should consist of more photos than writing, and looking through your wedding packages, they sound great, but I wouldn't hire you because I don't know what I'm paying for!
 
foodpoison said:
I haven't read the whole thread, but the thing that strikes me the most is the lack of images.
A photography website should consist of more photos than writing, and looking through your wedding packages, they sound great, but I wouldn't hire you because I don't know what I'm paying for!
Click to expand...

More pics to come-I have said it is limited at the moment until I sign up for the exteended version which i cant do till monday.

This is an ongoing thing you understand.
 
Oh most definitely.
I just thought that you need all the help you can get! :thumbs:
Designing a website is notoriously difficult, and it is hard to create one that appeals to all kinds of people.
Just here to help :)
 
foodpoison said:
Oh most definitely.
I just thought that you need all the help you can get! :thumbs:
Designing a website is notoriously difficult, and it is hard to create one that appeals to all kinds of people.
Just here to help :)
Click to expand...

And help much appreciated:)
 
Apologies now if the following sounds harsh, but it is said with the best intentions.

No I wouldn't hire you based on this site, and I don't think many other people will either.

To me it puts across the message of someone playing at being a 'fully professional photographer' (please lose that phrase). I don't know how you can expect to book a £1200 package from a site that looks like it cost 10p to make. If the site is all your own work, then I applaud you for having a go, but it's a long way from good enough.

Your site is the only shopfront for many businesses these days and it needs to stand out - you're a photographer, your site should be all about the images, at the moment there is 90%/10% balance text to images, it should ideally be the other way around. People can always contact you for more information, once the images have captured them.

My advice, spend some money, buy a template site and start again.

Duncan
 
Sorry gary which one is Duncan-has he replied.Did I miss him being Duncan because of another name?

Scratch that LOL
 
WeddingHack said:
Apologies now if the following sounds harsh, but it is said with the best intentions.

No I wouldn't hire you based on this site, and I don't think many other people will either.

To me it puts across the message of someone playing at being a 'fully professional photographer' (please lose that phrase). I don't know how you can expect to book a £1200 package from a site that looks like it cost 10p to make. If the site is all your own work, then I applaud you for having a go, but it's a long way from good enough.

Your site is the only shopfront for many businesses these days and it needs to stand out - you're a photographer, your site should be all about the images, at the moment there is 90%/10% balance text to images, it should ideally be the other way around. People can always contact you for more information, once the images have captured them.

My advice, spend some money, buy a template site and start again.

Duncan
Click to expand...

Well your thoughts are welcome Duncan-but it didnt cost 10p-not £1000 but still have to pay for it.

It is a site hosting plan with image file. im trying to sell online too you see and the choices are very limited. I am working on bettering it and need to find out if I can get a skin built by a pro designer and add it to it. I know i need more images and am working on this too.

I did notice you start at £1500
 
digitalmaniac said:
Well your thoughts are welcome Duncan-but it didnt cost 10p-not £1000 but still have to pay for it.

It is a site hosting plan with image file. im trying to sell online too you see and the choices are very limited. I am working on bettering it and need to find out if I can get a skin built by a pro designer and add it to it. I know i need more images and am working on this too.

I did notice you start at £1500
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You could easily set yourself up with a flash template design and third party shopping cart installed on your own webspace for £6-700
 
WeddingHack said:
You could easily set yourself up with a flash template design and third party shopping cart installed on your own webspace for £6-700
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Last time I tried to buy a flash template I got ripped off because it didnt work with my server and Im scared to waste money delving for possibilities.

Third party shopping carts are normally complicated and or just pay pal integrated and are a pain-this way at least the sales side looks pro and can pay simply. I am considering what to do but am unsure as yet.
 
Nicola.P said:
On the schools bit this comment stands out to me ' The photographer will not smoke or act badly whilst in the prescence of children' If hiring a professional I think I would assume this anyway, don't think it needs stating. It would put me off hiring though I cannot pin point why.
Click to expand...

I know that as a Pink Elephant. It brings to attention something that wouldn't necessarily have been expected by the audience.

It's like starting a conversation with,

I don't mean to be rude, but...
Click to expand...
 
I wouldnt use a flash template site, not good for accessiblity. But by all means if you are going to use Flash you need to design features into the site to detect if someone has it installed/enabled, if not to then redirect or display messages to make sure people still get the information they are looking for.

The skin of your website can be changed at any time (if designed correctly), but its the text that gives the biggest impact, and this in my opinion is where you could loose a whole lot.

Dont list prices on a website, as it makes it look static, what I am trying to mean is that if i am looking around for my wedding photographer and i see you are charging £1200 for what I want but thats out of my budget by say £200 then your website gets binned. If you can add a feature for a call back or link to the contact page within the text for the product you are selling.

As an overall suggestion, cut down on your text a little and break it up with pictures, try adding a picture of what each package includes, so a picture of 40 photos fanned out with the 3 photo albums near them (if its the diamond package).

Also if you are focusing on Slough for now, then your greatest marketing tool is word of mouth. The company I work for have a shocking website (in my opinion), but we have very good reputation by word of mouth and thats where we get most of out customers.

Dont rely on a website to sell your product, your photos should do that when people see them.
 
digitalmaniac said:
ahhh:lol:

well have just noticed from google analytics-since changing the site the average time spent on the site from people visiting from portrait studios slough is noq 13 minutes and the bounc e rate has gone down from 25% to 12%-so progress at least.
Click to expand...

Not sure how you're interpreting your website stats as they are obviously going to be skewed by us pouring over the website rather than the people you're actually targeting.
 
Oh one thing I did notice.. but not sure many others would..

What is your Favicon about? It looks like its from a template pacage?
 
foz said:
I wouldnt use a flash template site, not good for accessiblity. But by all means if you are going to use Flash you need to design features into the site to detect if someone has it installed/enabled, if not to then redirect or display messages to make sure people still get the information they are looking for.

The skin of your website can be changed at any time (if designed correctly), but its the text that gives the biggest impact, and this in my opinion is where you could loose a whole lot.

Dont list prices on a website, as it makes it look static, what I am trying to mean is that if i am looking around for my wedding photographer and i see you are charging £1200 for what I want but thats out of my budget by say £200 then your website gets binned. If you can add a feature for a call back or link to the contact page within the text for the product you are selling.

As an overall suggestion, cut down on your text a little and break it up with pictures, try adding a picture of what each package includes, so a picture of 40 photos fanned out with the 3 photo albums near them (if its the diamond package).

Also if you are focusing on Slough for now, then your greatest marketing tool is word of mouth. The company I work for have a shocking website (in my opinion), but we have very good reputation by word of mouth and thats where we get most of out customers.

Dont rely on a website to sell your product, your photos should do that when people see them.
Click to expand...

My intention was to do what others dont- they say nothing about prices and stun them with high prices when it comes to purchasing.

I know all about other forms of marketing-like word of mouth-but you cannot dismiss the power ofthe internet now days.
 
digitalmaniac said:
Last time I tried to buy a flash template I got ripped off because it didnt work with my server and Im scared to waste money delving for possibilities.

Third party shopping carts are normally complicated and or just pay pal integrated and are a pain-this way at least the sales side looks pro and can pay simply. I am considering what to do but am unsure as yet.
Click to expand...

I think your priorities are wrong - your sales side can look as 'pro' as possible but people ain't going to see it until they become your customers - your priority should be shopfront, not the back end.

I made do with a paper based ordering system and PBase client galleries for three years before moving to an online cart ... didn't stop people booking me.
 
oh and the pictures you hd on there last night were better, the portraits and the main page one.

But now you have the main image header working with the background, its just a little too amateurish. Reminds me of Maniac Mansion ;)
 
digitalmaniac said:
This was taken from a school photography company who are national
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Personally, if I were hiring a school photographer, I wouldn't even think to check whether the candidates would smoke or act badly around children.

I don't understand why that would need to be pointed out so explicitly. Smoking on school property is illegal anyway isn't it?

Imagine if you hired a babysitter and they greeted you with "I promise I won't rifle through your underwear and pee in your sink."

You may not have expected them to do it in the first instance, but after that...
 
Hey Duncan(Weddinghack), when going to your page, you click the picture and it just loads another window with the same thing, is that supposed to happen?
 
digitalmaniac said:
Last time I tried to buy a flash template I got ripped off because it didnt work with my server and Im scared to waste money delving for possibilities.

Third party shopping carts are normally complicated and or just pay pal integrated and are a pain-this way at least the sales side looks pro and can pay simply. I am considering what to do but am unsure as yet.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're ready to talk to a professional web designer to sort all of this out for you and let you concentrate on your business instead.
 
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