The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

I think it was sometime in the nineties, the model Naomi Campbell was on a photoshoot somewhere in the back of beyond. She asked where the toilets were and she was duly told. She was also told that because of the basic facilities, the toilets had no doors; she was reported as saying "But how will I get in?"

I have no idea whether or not this is true.
 
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"Dear neighbour. I feel it only fair to inform you that I have been using your wife every day while you are out. Probably more than you do! Never while you're at home."
 
"Oops! Sorry, typo - that should be 'wifi'."
 
Being the "festive" season, shouldn't there be camel ones too?
 
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Possibly a repost but worth repeating!!!
 
An old Chinese man once said to me,

Am I a man dreaming he’s a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he’s a man.

I replied, do I get free prawn crackers if spending over £10?
 
On the TV show Have I Got News For You a recent poll regarding the Chancer of the Exchequer showed that two thirds of those questioned said that she should resign.
To which Rachel Reeves responded, ‘Blimey, that’s nearly half’.
 
Just add an extra to #7...

Hoping they haven't caught one or 2 hairs in your beard or moustache in the impression medium.
 
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