The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Too true to be funny?

Edit - In response to Toni not Clive!!!
 
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An engineer dies, and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort down there, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God rings down and asks Satan "So, how's it going down there?" Satan replies
"Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next." God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him back up here!" Satan says "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him". God says “Send him back up here or I'll sue". "Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are vou going to find a lawyer?"
 
MODERATOR EDIT

We've taken the slightly difficult decision to delete this post. It's not because we're terribly PC, because that's not the case, but there's a racist overtone that was OK 50 years ago, but doesn't sit well now. If another race were substituted for Gypsies it might look different.

@GetBusyLiving I wanted to explain why, rather than just disappearing your post.
 
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Two men began talking in a bar on an upper floor of an office building.

At one point, one said, "I'm going to let you in on a secret. There's an updraft between this building and the next and it's strong enough to support your weight."

The second man said, "You're full of it."

The first man said, "No, it's true. Watch."

With that, he went out onto the balcony, climbed over the rail and sailed into the air. He spent the next several seconds floating, turning somersaults, doing figure eights, etc. Finally, he climbed back over the rail.

The second man said, "That was amazing. Let me try it."

So he climbed over the rail, launched himself into the air...and plunged screaming to the pavement below.

The bartender looked at the first man and said, "Ouch, Mr. Kent, you're a real jerk when you've been drinking."
 
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I failed at #1.
 
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