The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
 
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Got to be posted together!
 
Reminds me of a Glaswegian curse I heard 40 something years ago - "Ah hope yer next sh**e's a hedgehog - ar5e first!"
 
"No poopy-doop, Mr Holmes!"
 
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The Old Faces!
 
Imagine it's the 1950's when Devonport was a large naval base and quite a large number of the ships crews had been in the RN between 12 and 22 years.

At that time Union Street was where the 'professional' ladies could be found and two of them were sharing a second floor flat at a time when business had been somewhat slow.

One of then was looking out of the window and saw two older sailors heading back to the Dockyard, she turned to her friend and said "How about making it a foursome", her friend agreed and called out to them to come up to their flat for something they had never had before.

On hearing this one of the sailors turned to his companion and said "Run Jack, she's got Smallpox.
 
I see a Hooloovooloo in there!
 
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Time for this one again!
 
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