The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Starmer has just announced that all pensioners over 80 will get the winter fuel payment























As long as there living with both parents
 
Welcome to the UK Closing Down Sale!
Everything must go!
Fishing
Farming
Pensioners
National Security
Free Speech
Chagos Islands
Border checks
And the rights of indigenous population!
 
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Constable said:
That’s going to stir it up!
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Nothing wrong with the occassional catholic priest showing up, The sign just shows them where to meet... :whistle:
 
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
 
Could have been worse, he could have been half way through his DRE at the proctologist when he felt the hands on his shoulders...
 
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D-Mitch said:
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Is the expected answer 7 or 9? The question is ambiguous, hinging on whether "she" refers to Rachel or Tracey. Clearly, the student took the reference as being to Tracey, but that is clearly an assumption. :exit:
 
Given it is ‘Mercan, is a quarter 1/4 of the remaining chocolate bars, or a coin?
 
Surely there's more than a quarter remaining so the request should be for a quarter of the remainder rather than the remaining quarter.
 
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