The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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As bad as a mankini? :P
 
The new draftee refused to march with his squad. Instead, he rode his invisible motorcycle beside them while making motorcycle noises. After a few weeks of this and several psychiatric exams, he was given a discharge. He rode his Hog to the main gate, propped it up on its invisible stand and walked out. “Hey,” called the gate guard. “You forgot your bike.”
“No,” replied the draftee, “I’m leaving it for the next guy who wants to get out.”
 
We've been away for 5 days and returned today via the M42 (south of Birmingham). I caught sight of this road sign at some road works as we drove past so no photo but it was an official yellow background with black lettering. I've seen it before and it's clearly in response to people complaining about stretches of coned-off road works and no workmen to be seen.

"We are working but you might not see us when we are working out of sight".
 
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JohnC6 said:
We've been away for 5 days and returned today via the M42 (south of Birmingham). I caught sight of this road sign at some road works as we drove past so no photo but it was an official yellow background with black lettering. I've seen it before and it's clearly in response to people complaining about stretches of coned-off road works and no workmen to be seen.

"We are working but you might not see us when we are working out of sight".
Click to expand...
Heading to Girona yesterday on the AP-7 the illuminated motorway information signs read;

"Highway Robbery! Do not stop in quiet places."
"If someone tells you that your vehicle has a puncture it is a scam!"
"Beware of fake breakdowns and people asking for assistance."

But no "Welcome to Spain"
 
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That resonated with me. I used to work for Southwark Computer Circuses (the last word was actually Services, nothing to do with the council) and one of the inmates programmers once answered the phone with that name... You were said to audition for a job there, not interview. I used to answer the phone beside my desk with "hello, this is a wrong number". It was a direct outside line, not connected to our switchboard, only one digit different from Waterloo station enquiries.
 
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