The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Pass! Found elsewhere and stolen for here!!!
 
Two cavemen are sitting on a sandy beach, silently contemplating a fire they've built. Suddenly they notice a third caveman swimming out of the sea towards them.
The man runs up onto the beach gesticulating wildly, very excited.
The newcomer comes up to them and says: "Hey you two, I've discovered something really exciting that will change your lives, it's called language! It means we can actually start communicating with each other. A fantastic breakthrough, I just had to let you know."

One of the two guys by the fire gets up, grabs his club and wordlessly bashes the newcomer over the head, stretching him senseless in the sand.

Then he shrugs, turns to his friend and says: 'Je déteste les anglais!'
 
fool.jpg
Possibly a re-post but now deleted from this 'puter!
 
Kahlua or Tia Maria is the logical solution!!!
 
Beam them up, Welshie!
 
In TXT, it's just "thr"...
 
D-Mitch said:
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Reminds me of a radio competition from many years ago. Don't know if it is true o r no.

The DJ asked the question, "Who was the star of the film , Enter the Dragon.

The listeners were told to put their answers on a postcard and the DJ read out the address for the answers, starting with this first line - "Bruce Lee Competition..."

Dave
 
Tringa said:
Reminds me of a radio competition from many years ago. Don't know if it is true o r no.

The DJ asked the question, "Who was the star of the film , Enter the Dragon.

The listeners were told to put their answers on a postcard and the DJ read out the address for the answers, starting with this first line - "Bruce Lee Competition..."

Dave
Click to expand...
The landlady of our local was running the pub quiz once and announced
“How many Bond films did Daniel Craig star in? And there’s an extra point if you can name all five”.
 
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of cabbage.

The boy working in that department told him they only sell whole heads of cabbage.
The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter...
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some old b***** outside wants to buy half a head of cabbage."
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find that the man had followed and was standing right behind him, so the boy quickly added, "...and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
Later, the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?"
"Brazil, sir." the boy replied.
"Why did you leave Brazil?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and soccer players there."
"Is that right?" replied the manager. "My wife is from Brazil!"
"Really?" replied the boy. "Who did she play for?"
 
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