The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: "Come for ta bull."
 
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*mod edit* best to keep the swearies in the NSFW thread.
 
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My photography has not been so good since Xmas; until the last few days the weather was awful. Due to age/health I rarely travel very far which does not help. This has left me rather grumpy recently. I was sitting at my computer as usual when my wife picked up her bag and went out slamming the door. About 20 mins later I received a text from my wife; “What do you want from life?" I began to worry that my recent grumpiness had been driving her mad.

Ten minutes later I received another text stating; sorry about the predictive text, it should have read “What do you want from Lidl."
 
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I had soup when I forgot mine a while back! The delicious crusty bread was a bit of a challenge but well worth the effort!!!
 
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