The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Many (MANY!) years ago, at the tail-end of Punk, one of the bands of the time played at the university and one of the band came to the club at which I was a doorman after they had finished their set. To keep the chances of injury to customers (and staff!) down, we had a strict "No Studs" policy and he was wearing a studded belt and studded boot straps as part of his stage gear. He was rather unimpressed with our policy and did actually use the "Do you know..." line. The chap who was manning the door told him that it didn't make any difference and if he wanted in, he'd have to leave the studded items at the door.
 
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Raincloud said:
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Just seen another similar story...

A man was stopped by the police and when the copper asked for ID, the driver said "Don't you know who my father is?"

Quick as a flash, the copper replies "Didn't your mother tell you?"
 
Bet they can be fun though!!!
 
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Is that Halfords? If so, they've dropped the washing requirement.
 
Three young girls were walking in the woods and came upon tracks. The first one said, "Look, it's deer tracks." The second one said, "No, it's wolf tracks" and before the third one could answer, they got hit by a train.
 
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and Isk, Usk, Exe and others all mean river. Fuji means mountain.
 
Isn't she a joke even without any caption?
 
I though the ginger **** had torn the Constitution up.
 
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