The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

80,000 blondes meet in Wembley stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...

"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
 
Nod said:
I bow to your superior knowledge of drinking these days.
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I only know as a mate on a photo trip suggested 'spoons' for breakie - I didn't know they did breakfasts!

When we went in some old boys were already on their pints of beer!

Oh and its a good/cheap breakie spot if you ever need one in an unfamiliar city :)
 
Dave Goodier said:
I only know as a mate on a photo trip suggested 'spoons' for breakie - I didn't know they did breakfasts!

When we went in some old boys were already on their pints of beer!

Oh and its a good/cheap breakie spot if you ever need one in an unfamiliar city :)
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'ere!Where dis you pop up from? :eek:
 
Dave Goodier said:
I only know as a mate on a photo trip suggested 'spoons' for breakie - I didn't know they did breakfasts!

When we went in some old boys were already on their pints of beer!

Oh and its a good/cheap breakie spot if you ever need one in an unfamiliar city :)
Click to expand...


Glad you took my comment in the vein it was intended - I missed sticking the :P in at the end!

The queuing observation was made because we walked past a city centre Wetherspoons a couple of weeks ago and there were several people on the steps outside closed doors.
 
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"Yeah! Give it a good tug Luv!"
 
My car wouldn't start this morning. I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine block.

He said: "Good day to you Sir! And might I remark how splendid you look today?"
I knew the problem straight away.

Bat flattery
 
I see a group of hungry Crocs waiting to pounce...
 
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During covid lockdown, if there was a gathering of relatives and friends at your house on Christmas day, the police would come around and require the people who do not live in the house to leave..

I was wondering; does anyone know if this service is still available, and if so, do you have to book in advance?

Dave
 
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