The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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My wife and I have started roll play in the bedroom.

Her favourite is sexy librarian.
Where I have to sit quietly whilst she reads her book.
 
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:coat: for Mark!!!
 
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Some of these are new to me.


  • Abdicate: v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  • Arbitrator: n. A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.
  • Avoidable: v. What a bullfighter tries to do.
  • Balderdash: n. A rapidly receding hairline.
  • Baloney: n. Where some hemlines fall.
  • Barium: n. What doctors recommend when their patients die.
  • Bernadette: n. The act of torching a mortgage.
  • Burglarize: n. What a crook sees with.
  • Coffee: n. The person upon whom one coughs.
  • Congress: n. The antonym of progress.
  • Counterfeiters: npl. Workers who install kitchen cabinets.
  • Eclipse: v. What an Cockney barber does for a living.
  • Esplanade: v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
  • Eyedropper: n. A clumsy ophthalmologist.
  • Flatulence: n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
  • Heroes: npl. What a guy in a boat does.
  • Lymph: v. To walk with a lisp.
  • Misty: v. How golfers create Divots.
  • Node: v. Past tense of knew.
  • Paradox: npl. Two physicians.
  • Parasites: npl. What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
  • Pelvis: n. Elvis's second cousin.
  • Pharmacist: n. A farm hand.
  • Pokemon: n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
  • Polarize: v. What penguins see with.
  • Relief: v. What trees do in the spring.
  • Rubberneck: vp. What you do to relax your wife.
  • Sudafed: v. Brought a suit against a government official.
  • Testicle: n. A short quiz.
 
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Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer are on a plane,

Sunak looked at Starmer, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw £1,000 out of the window right now and make somebody happy."
Starmer shrugged his shoulders and replied, "I could throw twenty £50 notes out of the window and make twenty people happy"

Hearing… their exchange, the pilot said to his co-pilot, I could throw both of them out of the window and make 64 million people very, very happy!" ..
 
You've never heard Faust then!!!
 
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