The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Tringa said:
I think everyone should read 1984.

Dave
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Read it for the first time a couple of years ago and recognised so much of it in our current society.
 
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Cordy said:
"May we use your toilet, please?"

"Certainly. We have male and female just to the left."

"Do you have all-gender toilets?"

"Yes. I just told you."
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For that "freshly punched in the gob" look!
 
I know I'm not their target market, but who thinks that fashion is a good look? Nobody I've ever met.
 
Horse walks into a bar and says: "Double vodka please barman, and be quick about it."

Barman says: "what's the rush, are you some kind of alcoholic?"

Horse says: "I don't think I am" - and immediately vanishes from existence.


See, it's a joke about the philosophical proposition of "I think, therefore I am".

I could have explained that part first....

But that would be putting Descartes before the horse.
 
Maybe I should change the top line of my signature to the French rather than the Latinized version!!!
 
A man buy’s a Budgie, It keeps repeating
“Am a Glesga Budgie I’m as hard as nails”.
After a week the man gets so fed up he buys a Kestrel,
puts it in the cage and said “Let’s see how hard you are now”.
Next morning the Kestrels dead, Budgie says,
“Am a Glesga Budgie I’m as hard as nails”.
The Man buys a Buzzard puts it in the cage,
next morning the Buzzards dead and the Budgie says,
“Am a Glesga Budgie I’m as hard as nails” .
The man buys a Golden Eagle puts it in the cage,
next morning the Eagles dead and the Budgie has no feathers left?
Budgie says “Hid tae take ma jaikit aff fur that barrstard”
 
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Anybody else finding that Dry January is dragging on a bit?
 
Nod said:
Anybody else finding that Dry January is dragging on a bit?
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I still had 3/4 of a glass of Merlot left at 5 past midnight, so abandoned it. I will try again next year. :cool:
 
We cheated! We saw the New Year in with a shot of Cretan Raki - at midnight Greek time! Could have done the shot at just after midnight (GMT) when the barrage started...
 
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