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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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ancient_mariner
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JohnStewart
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JohnStewart
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ancient_mariner
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I'm not! I have a copy of my parents' wedding certificate filed beside my birth certificate to prove it!
Jelster
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When I was away on exercise once we were sharing a billet with some northern lads. One of their favourite phrases was "If I 5hit on your head, does that mean I 5s*** on 5hit, as you're a 5hithead".
Cordy
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Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world.
He decided that a few disciples would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Three days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.
Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: “Who is it?” “It’s Mark” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Mark?” “Marijuana from Colombia” “Very well son, come in.”
Another soft knock is heard. “Who is it?” “It’s Matthew” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Matthew?” “Cocaine from Mexico” “Very well son, come in.”
At the next knock Jesus asks, “Who is it?” “It’s John” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring John?” “Crystal meth from Los Angeles” “Very well son, come in.”
Someone starts pounding on the door. “Who is it?” “It’s Judas” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Judas?”
“Freeze! This is the FBI!”
He decided that a few disciples would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Three days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.
Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: “Who is it?” “It’s Mark” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Mark?” “Marijuana from Colombia” “Very well son, come in.”
Another soft knock is heard. “Who is it?” “It’s Matthew” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Matthew?” “Cocaine from Mexico” “Very well son, come in.”
At the next knock Jesus asks, “Who is it?” “It’s John” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring John?” “Crystal meth from Los Angeles” “Very well son, come in.”
Someone starts pounding on the door. “Who is it?” “It’s Judas” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Judas?”
“Freeze! This is the FBI!”
JohnStewart
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ancient_mariner
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