The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[Nod]

She thinks he might need it.

 

[gman]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Nod]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[Steep]

Putin and Biden were wrapping up a discussion.

Putin: “You know, Joe. I had this dream few days ago"

Biden: "Oh? Tell me about it.”

Putin: "I saw America in flames. A nuclear warhead crater where Capitol used to be. New York leveled. Los Angeles covered in human ash. It was glorious, Joe. I nearly teared up.”

Biden: "Huh. that's a weird dream. Well, I had one of my own few days ago as well."

Putin: "Go on.”

Biden: "I saw Moscow brilliant again. Full of dancing, laughter, people driving imported cars. Wearing the latest designer clothes. Very European, just like it was before the sanctions. And neon signs and slogans everywhere! They were too bright to ignore!"

Putin: "What did they say, those neon signs?"

Biden: "Who the **** knows? I don't speak Ukrainian.”

 

[Nod]

 

[Jelster]

Putin and Biden were wrapping up a discussion.

Putin: “You know, Joe. I had this dream few days ago"

Biden: "Oh? Tell me about it.”

Putin: "I saw America in flames. A nuclear warhead crater where Capitol used to be. New York leveled. Los Angeles covered in human ash. It was glorious, Joe. I nearly teared up.”

Biden: "Huh. that's a weird dream. Well, I had one of my own few days ago as well."

Putin: "Go on.”

Biden: "I saw Moscow brilliant again. Full of dancing, laughter, people driving imported cars. Wearing the latest designer clothes. Very European, just like it was before the sanctions. And neon signs and slogans everywhere! They were too bright to ignore!"

Putin: "What did they say, those neon signs?"

Biden: "Who the **** knows? I don't speak Ukrainian.”

That's proper funny!!

 

[Nod]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Tringa]

My dad had to do a presentation about the importance of wearing a condom and he wanted me to view it before he used it.

I was confused as every slide was a photo of me.

Dave

 

[Norkie]

 

[Nod]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]

View attachment 404403

I play with found balls and when one (not If, definitely WHEN!) goes astray, it's very rare that I don't find 2 or 3, sometimes including the one I lost.

 

[Nod]

 

[Peter123]

I play with found balls and when one (not If, definitely WHEN!) goes astray, it's very rare that I don't find 2 or 3, sometimes including the one I lost.

I have my bees on a golf course. When stray balls land in front of the hives they never seem to be collected for some strange reason.

 

[Cobra]

I play with found balls and when one (not If, definitely WHEN!) goes astray, it's very rare that I don't find 2 or 3, sometimes including the one I lost.

I saw that and thought of you

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Nod]

Not included in the sale!!!

 

[Nod]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[Nod]

 

[Steep]

 

[Tringa]

A quick guide for older blokes.

You know you are losing it when you go into a pub, see an attrative lady, sit next to her and say, "Hello, do I come here often?"

Dave

 

[Nod]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]