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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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welshwizard645
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- Peter
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I was in a cafe this morning and heard two waitresses having a massive row over how long a tea bag should be left in a cup.
It got so bad it ended up in violence. I asked the manager what had happened and he aid: "It's been brewing for ages."
It got so bad it ended up in violence. I asked the manager what had happened and he aid: "It's been brewing for ages."
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- Heather
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Despite setting up a business using my lathe to make religious figures out of wood I still haven’t managed to turn a prophet.
welshwizard645
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Never challenge death to a pillow fight
Unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions
Unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions
welshwizard645
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"After Bob died, everyone gathered at his funeral. Then the minister started to speak: "He was a model husband, a decent man, a terrific father.."
The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her.
"What is it mother?" he whisper.
"Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..."
The widow then makes a motion for her son to come to her.
"What is it mother?" he whisper.
"Dear, go check the casket, I think we're at the wrong funeral..."
welshwizard645
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Sheepdog: "Did you just say I'm too controlling?"
Sheep: "Yes , you herd me!"
Sheep: "Yes , you herd me!"
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- Dave
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I saw the beginning of Morning Live on BBC1 yesterday.
One of the usual presenters was not there! Very quickly those presenting that edition said he was abroad attending a wedding. Sort of, "we are telling you this so you can cross him off the list"
G.K.Jnr.
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An extremely obese man with severe stomach pains goes to see a doctor. He can hardly stand, the pain is so bad. After an examination, the doctor is holding the x-rays and asks, "Did you at one time swallow a bullet?" The man answers, "Swallow a bullet? Of course not!" The doctor replies, "Well then, I'm afraid you've been shot!"
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There was actually a porn film called "Shaving Ryans privates" so I am told.
gman
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