The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Yup, some stretches are absolutely shocking! Then, when they do get around to fixing A pothole, another one appears close to the site of the old one. Just up the road here, there's a 50m or so stretch that I've reported twice and that's been marked up for repair. A month ago. A PITA in a car but lethal on a bike.
 
An Irish family from the country made their first visit into Dublin City.

The girl and her mother went into the clothing shops while the husband and son continued to explore. They came to a lift, a device they had never seen before. They were mystified, watching lights flicker above the pair of metal doors.

They both watched in amazement as an elderly woman in an old shawl hobbled up to the doors and pushed a button – which lit up – causing the doors to slide open and reveal a tiny room. The elderly woman stepped into the room and the doors closed.

The lights above the doors began to flicker and then the doors opened and a very attractive young blonde woman in a low-cut top and miniskirt walked out.

Without taking his eyes from the woman, the father nudged his son and whispered in an urgent tone,

“Go get your ma.”
 
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Ignore the typo (if you can!)
 
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I really hope Barry Hearn wins when they get their day in court.
 
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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux was friends. One day, Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux driving a brand new Ford. He said, "Thibodeaux, where'd you get that new truck? You don't have no job." Tibodeaux said, "You know Mrs. Patty? She's been sweet on me for quite some time. Today, she took me out into the woods in this here truck. She got out the truck, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Thibodeaux, take what you want.' So I took the truck." Boudreaux said, "Well dats good for you Thibodeaux, because her clothes would never fit you."
 
I shall never forget those long rubber boots, those fishnets and that exotic Scandinavian accent.
That was my first time ever..........
on a fishing trawler.
 
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This is my new phone cover glass.

It may have 9H hardness glass
It may have ultra-clearness
It may well be anti- scratch and anti-shatter
It could well be smudge resistant
It may have a lot of things but one thing above all is going to save my phone from damage...divine intervention!



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