The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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I once worked for a circus as The Human Cannonball but had an accident that put me in hospital for six weeks.
When I returned to where I left it I was surprised to find the circus still there.
It turned out that I was the only one who could get the tent back in the bag ..,
 
OK, we need a holiday, but where to go ?
I pinned a large scale map of the UK on the wall. I fetched out an old set of darts that hadn't been used for many years.
I invited my Wife to thow a dart at the map and we would find a holiday place nearby.
Looks like we are going for a week behind the fridge !
 
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Sounds like the Twirly bus - the one before the one that OAP bus pass users are allowed to use - "Sorry Luv, you're twirly! (too early)"
 
Only works properly outside on a phone.


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For months, a little boy pesters his Dad to take him to the zoo.

Eventually, Dad gives in and off they go.

When they get home the boy's mother asks him if he had a good time.

"It was great," replies the boy, "and Daddy had lots of fun too, especially when one of the animals came home at 30-1."
 
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