The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[scottishguy]

The Platypus (Duck Billed Platypus) has always fascinated me. It is one of the few animals that lay eggs and produce milk. (Monotremes)

This also makes it one of the few animals that can make custard.

Does anyone else think that they first called it a "plate pus" and then "thought no, not scientific enough"

 

[scottishguy]

Think about it

View attachment 383342

Bet that took hours to come down.

 

[scottishguy]

View attachment 383237

Like the way the boxes behind her and the basket are swooning towards her obviously slim waist

 

[mex]

 

[Steep]

 

[Nod]

 

[Mag1cp2x]

When people ask me why I invented the thought controlled air freshener I say it’s because it makes scents when you think about it …

 

[Norkie]

Mystic Meg: Astrologer dies aged 80

The TV star, whose real name was Margaret Lake, was a well-known TV figure in the 1990s.

www.bbc.co.uk

I bet she didn’t see that coming….

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[badlywornroy]

I can't stand people who use alternative words to avoid offending others........it gets right on my mammary glands.

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Nod]

View attachment 383528

 

[Norkie]

View attachment 383533

Yes I can attest to that Nod

 

[Nod]

 

[Nod]

 

[ianp5a]

My hearing aids take eh?-eh? batteries.

 

[simon ess]

Yes I can attest to that Nod

You're a horse??

 

[Norkie]

You're a horse??

Donkey

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Nod]

 

[Cobra]

View attachment 383550

OK How did you sneak a camera into the staff room?



@Server Hamster

 

[Dale.]

Wifey, "Thursdays are so depressing",

Me , " just wait 2 more days",

Wifey....look of bemusement,

Me, "it will be a sadder day".

 

[Cobra]

Wifey, "Thursdays are so depressing",

Me , " just wait 2 more days",

Wifey....look of bemusement,

Me, "it will be a sadder day".

That was absolutely terrible

 

[Cockney]

View: https://BANNED/DarwinAwards_/status/1633942035593035776?t=7bDGZenQBiMxxIS2QZJXbQ&s=19https://BANNED/DarwinAwards_/status/1633942035593035776?t=7bDGZenQBiMxxIS2QZJXbQ&s=19

 

[gman]

 

[Deleted member 68495]

Is it my imagination or has Suella Braverman grown horns (photo from BBC news website):

 

[ancient_mariner]

Is it my imagination or has Suella Braverman grown horns (photo from BBC news website):


View attachment 383568

I saw that this morning and thought the togger got a really good angle.

 

[Al1944]

View: https://BANNED/DarwinAwards_/status/1633942035593035776?t=7bDGZenQBiMxxIS2QZJXbQ&s=19https://BANNED/DarwinAwards_/status/1633942035593035776?t=7bDGZenQBiMxxIS2QZJXbQ&s=19

For some reason Jerry Lee Lewis came to mind instantly .........................

 

[Nod]

 

[Brendan Mulachy]

I've just fulfilled my wife's dream and married her in a castle......not that you could tell by the look on her face as we bounced around

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[D-Mitch]

 

[Cobra]

Stay at home and stay safe. We can make it through this together!

 

[Petrochemist]

Stay at home and stay safe. We can make it through this together!

View attachment 383598

You got more than us Chris. Snowing for a good half an hour but totally failed to settle

 

[Cobra]

You got more than us Chris. Snowing for a good half an hour but totally failed to settle

That was actually a repeated joke post, I woke to the grass being totally covered this morning.
Rain shifted it in the afternoon though.