The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Looks like it's Newcastle Brown Ale that's missing from the shelves though!
 
I hurt my arm this morning and had to go to hospital for an x-ray,
as I was sitting waiting to be seen, the lad next to me says," Fair fae yer honest sonsieface! Great chieftain o' the puddin race!!"
I was like, eh?!?!.,
I turned my head round to the the lady sat on my other side, she said, " ! Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!"
I grabbed the next doc walking past I said, "here mate is this the psychiatric ward?"


He says," no this is the Burns unit" !
 
Cobra said:
I hurt my arm this morning and had to go to hospital for an x-ray,
as I was sitting waiting to be seen, the lad next to me says," Fair fae yer honest sonsieface! Great chieftain o' the puddin race!!"
I was like, eh?!?!.,
I turned my head round to the the lady sat on my other side, she said, " ! Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!"
I grabbed the next doc walking past I said, "here mate is this the psychiatric ward?"


He says," no this is the Burns unit" !
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Groan.
 
Mountkeen said:
In town today I saw the lead singer of Showaddywaddy in Lakeland with his Wife looking for a frying pan.

“Which one shall we buy?” she asked.

He replied “Let’s go for a little wok”….







I’ll get my coat..........
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Some people say his shoes are crape, I think they're alright myself..... :LOL:

(Didn't we used to have a "I'll get my coat" smiley???
 
View: https://BANNED/SattyMootien1/status/1618312219896209410?s=20&t=Ik29GnSjOlNux670hD3Dug
 
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Saint Peter meets a new arrival at the Pearly Gates and asks his name.

“Aye, ma name be Alastair MacTavish, that it is, och aye”.

“Clear off”, says Saint Peter, “we’re not going to start making porridge for one !”
 
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:coat:
 
I prefer Blazing Saddles! :P
 
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