The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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Cobra said:
I think so too.

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visited a Starbuck a week or so ago, haven't been in one for a while, but I fancied a coffee and they were on my route, so I ordered what I used to have; a grande latte with an extra shot (that's a strong mid sized coffee). How much ?? £4.40 !!!!!

I can buy a pack of 10 of their coffee pods for £3.00.... Won't be going there again.....
 
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Jelster said:
visited a Starbuck a week or so ago, haven't been in one for a while, but I fancied a coffee and they were on my route, so I ordered what I used to have; a grande latte with an extra shot (that's a strong mid sized coffee). How much ?? £4.40 !!!!!

I can buy a pack of 10 of their coffee pods for £3.00.... Won't be going there again.....
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Problem with these high street chain ‘coffee’ shops is that the coffee element has long since been resigned to a mere ‘flavouring’ in their elaborate mocha choca chino toffee sauce with extra cream drinks!

I honestly doubt their customers could tell whether the coffee ‘flavouring’ was a shot of espresso or a teaspoon of Nescafé!!!
 
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Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time,
"like sitting around in the Garden bar and drinking John Smiths isn't a good thing."
She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to the old folks Centre and hang out with the fellas. I sent her an e-mail telling her I had and that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club. She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 72 years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes? I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club." "Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!" The line went dead. Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun to wined the kids up
 
Gremlin said:
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time,
"like sitting around in the Garden bar and drinking John Smiths isn't a good thing."
She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to the old folks Centre and hang out with the fellas. I sent her an e-mail telling her I had and that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club. She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 72 years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes? I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club." "Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!" The line went dead. Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun to wined the kids up
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I'm borrowing that.
 
Brazo said:
Problem with these high street chain ‘coffee’ shops is that the coffee element has long since been resigned to a mere ‘flavouring’ in their elaborate mocha choca chino toffee sauce with extra cream drinks!

I honestly doubt their customers could tell whether the coffee ‘flavouring’ was a shot of espresso or a teaspoon of Nescafé!!!
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Last time I had coffee from one these chains was a ‘last resort’ waiting for someone to be seen in A&E, I tried it twice and took back to the counter, I suggested they tried using mud from the gardens outside instead of their coffee, it was so bad I wouldn’t have even served it to Putin!
 
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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
 
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