The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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If I could remember any of the above, I'd STILL forget my s*dd!ng passwords!
 
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Fresh out of the garden... Wifey is trying to think what it reminds her of?

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If you live in MK you know :D

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A student on a welding course was asked "If you had a blowback in your Oxy Acetylene equipment, what steps would you take?
"Bl^^dy big ones!"
 
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A man is telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4000, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really?" answers the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "12:30."
 
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Poonami alert!!!
 
A young very new policeman was keen to get onto squad cars and use his ‘blues and twos’ to great effect. But he had to go through several stages of training before he got the go ahead for that. Then the great day arrived and he had the keys to a beautiful jam sandwich, he raced to the car and put it through all the tests that he had been taught, lights, siren etc.

Then he put it into gear and floored the pedal…and crammed it straight into the telegraph pole behind him.

Of course he had to undergo all the training again but was confused as to his new nickname ‘Dracula’. He asked a mate who then explained. 'Only Dracula can look in a mirror, and see nothing.

Credit to Alfie Moore, ‘A Fair Cop’. BBC Radio 4


Or--------------------------------------------------

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