JohnStewart
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and please use their services
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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I’ve just mashed up some Kellogg’s Frosties into a paste and used it between my bathroom tiles.
They’re Grrrrrout !
They’re Grrrrrout !
Box Brownie
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And don't tell me, you put a Tiger in your (water) tank
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ancient_mariner
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This may be applicable to key sections of the forum involving politics.
ancient_mariner
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omens
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People in 2006 were playing Snake on their phones!
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Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night. Mick, the bartender, says 'You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy.'
Paddy replies 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face 'What the [PLEASE DON'T TRY TO BYPASS THE SWEAR FILTER] he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. 'Damn!' he says.
He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.
'Bi'Jesus.. I'm soused, ' he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, 'No fecking way.' But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, 'I think I can make it to the bed.' He take s a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. He says, 'This is hell. I gotta stop drinking,' but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'
Paddy says, 'I did Jess. I was totally p***faced. But how'd you know?'
'Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub.'
Paddy replies 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face 'What the [PLEASE DON'T TRY TO BYPASS THE SWEAR FILTER] he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. 'Damn!' he says.
He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.
'Bi'Jesus.. I'm soused, ' he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, 'No fecking way.' But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, 'I think I can make it to the bed.' He take s a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. He says, 'This is hell. I gotta stop drinking,' but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?'
Paddy says, 'I did Jess. I was totally p***faced. But how'd you know?'
'Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub.'
