The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[AndrewFlannigan]

Oh no it isn't

As Tracey Emin has proved, one man's trash can be another woman's art...

 

[Mountkeen]

My school chemistry teacher asked us to write 1,000 words on acid.

Unfortunately, I was unable to complete it as my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

 

[Ricardodaforce]

View: https://BANNED/cellorusso/status/1546332905772826625?s=21&t=C85_r95YOiRN5mvcGxyt0Q

 

[Cockney]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[Mountkeen]

My Grandad paid over £2,000 to Creative Memorials, where they mix your ashes with clay to make a momento.

My Grandma's furious.

They made a mug out of him.

 

[Mountkeen]

 

[Nod]

 

[ancient_mariner]

 

[Brendan Mulachy]

 

[Nod]

 

[Nod]

And don't say I didn't warn you, Chris!

 

[Cockney]

View: https://BANNED/AidoSama/status/1546444989584080896?t=ewN4WG3gwI_IELOqFhuQWQ&s=19

 

[badlywornroy]

My wife was bitten by a radioactive owl last week and now she is making all my decisions for me.

She has been given the power of a tawny.

 

[Cobra]

And don't say I didn't warn you, Chris!

Nothing wrong with a couple of buns.,
Now where did I leave my burgers?

 

[Nod]

I could post something that looks like a sausage... (If I could find it!!!)

 

[Tigger.ufo]

I could post something that looks like a sausage... (If I could find it!!!)

I think you will find it got moved to HT

 

[simon ess]

Can't see something that looks a bit like a todger, but tits...wayheea.

That's really funny.

 

[Cobra]

I could post something that looks like a sausage... (If I could find it!!!)

You can try, but I wouldn't advise it

 

[Cobra]

I think you will find it got moved to HT

If you are refereing to the sock one, it got deleted

 

[ancient_mariner]

I could post something that looks like a sausage... (If I could find it!!!)

Maybe you just need to lose a bit of weight?

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"
On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"
The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

 

[Marc]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Skyline]

A friend said the only fruit or vegetable that can make you cry is an onion.

So I smashed a pineapple in his face.

 

[Nod]

A watermelon shoved where the Sun don't shine works too!

 

[Nod]

 

[mex]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[G.K.Jnr.]

 

[sirch]

View attachment 360421

 

[Cockney]

 

[Cockney]

 

[Mr Badger]

I think you will find it got moved to HT

Or HRT!

 

[Nod]

Not since Fergie got hers sucked has a toe been so controversial!!!

 

[G.K.Jnr.]