The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

RSPCA have issued a special number for England Rugby fans who have lost their dog.
it is 0800 40 41 42 43 44.
It is believed that they struggle to hold on to leads
 
Having too much sex can cause memory loss.

I read that on page 37 of a medical journal on the 14th November 2015 at 4.19pm

It was raining.
 
Bit loik sebben but less.
 
upload_2022-1-13_7-18-12.jpg
 
Many year ago now when "Management' first became a job where it wasn't necessary to know and/or understand how your employees did their job, someone came up with a number of posters which were supposed to encourage their workers to greater efforts.

Quite a number of the aforesaid 'Managers' put these up in their workplaces. One of the buildings I used to visit in W1 to examine the heating and ventilating plant for insurance purposes was a large one and it was a two day inspection.

In the first floor open plan office space there was a rather large poster, which said "Think!", and appeared to have been recently fixed to one of the walls. When I visited the next day someone had written, using very large felt tip pen, "Or Thwim" underneath Think.
 
272262676_10161557694153626_5414153045958926561_n.jpg
 
273203203_1380914445759952_1800712087741812533_n.jpg
 
AFB42722-FCB9-4033-A885-B2D05AA9DCBC.jpeg
 
As I meandered down the garden, I was confronted by a myriad of tiny creatures, stood bolt upright!
My mind race at the thought of a mini invasion from out in space!

But then it settled on the more plausible explanation,
that I had got the slug pellets confused with the Viagra.
 
Cobra said:
As I meandered down the garden, I was confronted by a myriad of tiny creatures, stood bolt upright!
My mind race at the thought of a mini invasion from out in space!

But then it settled on the more plausible explanation,
that I had got the slug pellets confused with the Viagra.
Click to expand...
You’re saying the slug pellets are giving you hallucinations? :exit:
 
And the mortician...
 
IMG-20220206-WA0008.jpg
 
Heard the same story. I reckon it's cobblers.
 
IMG-20220206-WA0012.jpg
 
I know someone who thinks alcohol is the solution to everything. He's not a heavy drinker, just useless at crosswords.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nod
63F4D406-ABCF-4134-9EAE-463DF30EA0C8.jpeg
 
This afternoon the doorbell rang, I answered it and there were two Jehovah's Witnesses standing there.
I invited them in, sat them down on the couch and said, 'Well, what do you want to talk about ?'
One said, 'We don't know, we've never made it this far before'.
 
IMG-20220206-WA0002.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top