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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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Mountkeen
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After six kids, Mary feels a little loose "down there" and decides to treat herself to some cosmetic surgery to tidy up.
When she comes to from the anaesthetic after the procedure, she finds two bouquets of flowers in her room.
The nurse tells her that the first is "from your loving husband, who's looking forward to you coming home."
Mary asks about the second bouquet.
"That's from Gerald in the burns unit," the nurse says. "He's thrilled with his new ears."
When she comes to from the anaesthetic after the procedure, she finds two bouquets of flowers in her room.
The nurse tells her that the first is "from your loving husband, who's looking forward to you coming home."
Mary asks about the second bouquet.
"That's from Gerald in the burns unit," the nurse says. "He's thrilled with his new ears."
JohnStewart
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Al1944
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Thank God it wasn't new lips.
Krisstiffer
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Krisstiffer
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Krisstiffer
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G.K.Jnr.
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This crazy guy walks into a restaurant and tells the waiter, “Lemme get a cheeseburger, not too rare, not too well done, but right in the groove. Lemme get some fries, not too crispy, not too burnt, but right in the groove. And while you’re at it, throw in a shake, not too thin, not too thick, but right in groove.” The waiter took down the order and came back five minutes later and told the man, “The cook said you can kiss his ass, not to the left, not to the right, but right in the groove.”
That sign has obviously been Photoshopped - they’ll never start in January……..
That sign has obviously been Photoshopped - they’ll never start in January……..
I assumed the shot was taken in Edinburgh, the timeline and warning of delays sound distinctly plausible ...
Petrochemist
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I thought it was actually somewhat optimistic.I assumed the shot was taken in Edinburgh, the timeline and warning of delays sound distinctly plausible ...
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