The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."
 
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G.K.Jnr. said:
Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."
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Pedant Mode - Swatch was actually a Contraction of the Phrase "Second WATCH" - marketed by the swiss as a cheap disposable fashion item to wear in addition to or where your Patek Philippe, Audemars Piguet, or Vacheron Constantin were just a little too dressy...
 
Is that why they never made a third one? :P
 
G.K.Jnr. said:
Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."
Click to expand...
Got tha time on ya cock?
 
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
 
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My mate has gone to jail and he's taking it hard ( He's on hunger strike, screaming at everyone and refusing to wear clothes. He's even smeared the walls with his own sh*t!

I've decided I'm never going to play Monopoly with him again.
 
Steep said:
My mate has gone to jail and he's taking it hard ( He's on hunger strike, screaming at everyone and refusing to wear clothes. He's even smeared the walls with his own sh*t!

I've decided I'm never going to play Monopoly with him again.
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Though nothing as extreme as that jokey post.....

I remember once on holiday and playing a game at the home of a family I was invited to dinner with, that the 6yo son of the family liked to play too and he "always won" i.e. he must be allowed to win! Suffice to say the game was interesting and not particularly enjoyable :banghead:
 
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