and please use their services
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
- Messages
- 105,684
- Name
- The other Chris
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Round the horne rules apply, if its good enough for the BBC pre-watershed then it goes in herePoint of order, but shouldn't that comment be in the new 'Ooo-errr-missus' jokes section in Hot Topics?
.The NSFW thread is hardly 'Ooo-errr-missus', it is just utter filth from people who seem not to have got further than the puerile humour of adolescence.
Krisstiffer
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 722
- Name
- Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
A small amount of your eternal soul.That sounds expensive, how much is the entry fee?
Once seen it cannot be unseen.......
ancient_mariner
Moderator
- Messages
- 27,780
- Name
- Toni
- Edit My Images
- No
Krisstiffer
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 722
- Name
- Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
Krisstiffer
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 722
- Name
- Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
G.K.Jnr.
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 34,213
- Name
- George.
- Edit My Images
- No
5 girls are going to the prom, 1 girl says my boyfriend has brown hair so I will wear a brown dress the 2 girl says my boyfriend has blonde hair so I will wear a blonde dress third girl says my boyfriend has ginger hair so I will wear a ginger dress 4 girl my boyfriend has multi-coloured hair so I will wear a multi-coloured dress last girl says my boy friend has no hair.
Bobsyeruncle
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 17,422
- Name
- Bob
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 7,457
- Edit My Images
- No
Hey, don't shoot the messenger!Round the horne rules apply, if its good enough for the BBC pre-watershed then it goes in here
The NSFW thread is hardly 'Ooo-errr-missus', it is just utter filth from people who seem not to have got further than the puerile humour of adolescence.
kennethwfd
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 955
- Name
- ken
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Sky
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 4,244
- Name
- Trevor
- Edit My Images
- No
The following questions were set in last year's GED (General Educational Development) examination (USA).
These are answers from some 16 year olds.
Q. Name the four seasons?
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. the abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'?
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
These are answers from some 16 year olds.
Q. Name the four seasons?
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. the abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'?
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
