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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
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ancient_mariner
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Function vs preference in the case of males, turkey baster for females.
This is meant to be the jokes thread.
Mag1cp2x
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I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't think it funnyFunction vs preference in the case of males, turkey baster for females.
This is meant to be the jokes thread.
ancient_mariner
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I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't think it funny
Sorry, it wasn't meant to come over like that - it was tempting to start mentioning the other issues around this area, and the comment about joke thread was aimed at my own thoughts . I can clearly see why you'd think otherwise.
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After the death of his wife an elderly man married
a young woman ..
Now he was spending less time with his friends.
His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.
“ my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away.”
Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person.
The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant.
And the friends were meeting more often.
One day the friends jokingly asked, “How is your wife now?”
"She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *She is pregnant*"
The friends laughed, as they expected this. “
How is the tenant?” they asked.
The man replied very soberly
“She is also pregnant"
a young woman ..
Now he was spending less time with his friends.
His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.
“ my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away.”
Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person.
The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant.
And the friends were meeting more often.
One day the friends jokingly asked, “How is your wife now?”
"She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *She is pregnant*"
The friends laughed, as they expected this. “
How is the tenant?” they asked.
The man replied very soberly
“She is also pregnant"
munch
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wrong there is no colour in it, just demonstrates how white you are. It is not inclusive.
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OP
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AndrewFlannigan
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G.K.Jnr.
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One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.” When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.” Which one of the three women got the job? The one with the biggest tits!
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White supremacist!
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...white is made up of all the colours of the rainbow.
{this has been brought to you by the Society for Telling You Things You Didn't Need to Know}
I take it you didn't click on the embedded link.
OP
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An American tourist went on a trip to China. While in China, he was very sexually promiscuous and did not take any precautions.
A week after arriving back home he awakened one morning to find his member covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately went to see his doctor.
The doctor, having never seen anything like that before, ordered some tests and told the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returned a couple of days later and the doctor said, “I’ve got bad news for you.
You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”
The man looked a little relieved and said, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.”
The doctor answered, “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure other than to amputate your member.”
The man screamed in horror, “Oh no! I want a second opinion!”
The doctor replied, “Well it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice.”
The next day, the man sought out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’d know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examined his member and proclaimed, “Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”
The guy said to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do?
My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my member!”
The Chinese doctor shook his head and laughed, “Stupid American doctor! American doctor, always want to operate.
Make more money that way.”
“Then there’s no need to operate? Oh, thank God!” the man replied.
“Yes!” said the Chinese doctor, “You no worry! Wait two weeks, it fall off by itself!”
A week after arriving back home he awakened one morning to find his member covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately went to see his doctor.
The doctor, having never seen anything like that before, ordered some tests and told the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returned a couple of days later and the doctor said, “I’ve got bad news for you.
You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”
The man looked a little relieved and said, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.”
The doctor answered, “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure other than to amputate your member.”
The man screamed in horror, “Oh no! I want a second opinion!”
The doctor replied, “Well it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice.”
The next day, the man sought out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’d know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examined his member and proclaimed, “Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”
The guy said to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can you do?
My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my member!”
The Chinese doctor shook his head and laughed, “Stupid American doctor! American doctor, always want to operate.
Make more money that way.”
“Then there’s no need to operate? Oh, thank God!” the man replied.
“Yes!” said the Chinese doctor, “You no worry! Wait two weeks, it fall off by itself!”
