The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Another one that I might have posted a few weeks ago. Apologies if that's the case!

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Another one I may have posted before...

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and one I'm fairly sure I haven't.

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(But someone else may well have!)
 
If I post this one...

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I'd better follow it with this one!

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Unless of course it’s a squirrel you are posting :). A chap who was a child in this town where I currently live told that i(n probably around 1950, I haven’t checked) the letter box in a door next to he newsagents was where you posted squirrel tails back when there was a bounty on them :).
 
I've just heard the news that Crufts dog show has been cancelled this year due to Covid 19. I hope they manage to survive this and they don't have to call in the retrievers.
 
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I've just heard the news that Crufts dog show has been cancelled this year due to Covid 19. I hope they manage to survive this and they don't have to call in the retrievers.

Yes, it will be a shame if they go to the dogs and hounded by creditors.
 
Unless of course it’s a squirrel you are posting :). A chap who was a child in this town where I currently live told that i(n probably around 1950, I haven’t checked) the letter box in a door next to he newsagents was where you posted squirrel tails back when there was a bounty on them :).
Yep a few of my mates at school did quite well hunting them with air rifles ,I think it was ten Bob a tail back then . Lots ended up on Vespa scooter Ariels as well .
 
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I went shopping today in Asda and i was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson.
He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things.
The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, William, we won’t be long . . . easy boy.”

Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say : “It’s okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”

At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice : “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool William.”

Well, i was really impressed, so i went outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I said to the Grandad “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it.
That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay.
William is very lucky to have you as his granddad.”

“Thanks,” said the Granddad. “But I am William. The little b*****d’s name is Kevin.
 
Sweary so small!
 

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