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The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
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Bobsyeruncle
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munch
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic primary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples....'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples....'
G.K.Jnr.
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A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a gay.”
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And you could tell when they were well enough to resume school or work... as you'd catch them sitting up in bed and looking at their surroundings through the yellow cellophane wrapping the bottle came in!
ancient_mariner
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And you could tell when they were well enough to resume school or work... as you'd catch them sitting up in bed and looking at their surroundings through the yellow cellophane wrapping the bottle came in!
Guilty!
Brendan Mulachy
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mex
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They say the age of romance is over, NO WAY!, before lockdown I took my beautiful, darling wife for a meal, we had a few too many glasses of wine, we played footsie under the table, anyway I had a lovely steak, she got toed in the hole.
