The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

It is 2:00 am. There are a half dozen empty vodka bottles lying on the dimly-lit street. Two men standing in the middle of street have been arguing that the other man is more drunk. Finally, one man said to the other, “If you are not drunk, then climb up this column," pointing to the vertical beam of light that the flashlight in this right hand makes. Thinking a bit, the other man stuttered, “I am not that stupid. If I climb up to the top and you turn off the light, I will surely fall to my death!”
 
The man who invented strobe lighting passed away yesterday.

H s f ne l w l t k p a e n xt T e da in he C em t r um S oc p rt.
 
YAY!! I just booked my first trip of 2021, going to Iceland in January......................................................it that goes ok I'll try Tesco before February.
 
the black fox said:
thats next years first holiday booked


in febuary we are off to Iceland



might try Tescos in march
Click to expand...
mex said:
YAY!! I just booked my first trip of 2021, going to Iceland in January......................................................it that goes ok I'll try Tesco before February.
Click to expand...

Maybe you could share a cabin? ;)
 
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”, I just lost it.
“CASE DISMISSED!!”
 
An old lady was knitting & speeding down the highway. A cop pulled up alongside her vehicle & yelled, "Pull over!" She yelled back, "No, they're mittens!"
 
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