The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Ahso got it now :clap::clap:
 
A man enters a confessional, and says to the Irish Priest,
"Father, it has been one month since my last confession, and I've sinned with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional.

"Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have sinned with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the Priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the Priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the Priest is preparing to deliver his sermon, when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle, and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The Priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.
The Priest turns to the altar boy and asks in a whisper, "Is that Fannie Green?"
The altar boy replies ................. "No Father,
I think it's just the reflection off her shoes"
 
Tori_T said:
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Interesting optical illusion- the Magma Lamp looks as though its base and cap are polished but the Lava version looks as if they're brushed.

And the wax looks like a male chicken and what rugby players kick!
 
Just got home from a job interview, I was asked if I could perform under pressure, I told them not really, but I do a damned good Bohemian Rhapsody.
 
If you type - is the internet - into Google by the time you get to the first two letters of internet, Google suggests alternatives for how your search might be completed.

The first one is 'is the internet down' !

Dave
 
Fur coats, no knickers!
 
I'm guessing it's the (lack of) fasteners holding the brace up.
 
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